A Garbage Can Full of Women’s Shoes

When we shifted 2 weeks ago, Ronald had accidentally picked up this garbage can full of women’s shoes. He assumed it was Marish‘s.

After arranging all the stuff we have transferred, Ronald saw the unmoved garbage can and told Marish, “Oh! Sapatos mo!”
“Hindi akin ‘yan,” she answered.
“Nye! Eh kanino ‘to?” he asked himself.

After one day, Ronald was asked by the owner of our old flat, “Ronald, may nadala ka bang mga sapatos ng babae?”
“Oo, ate, nabitbit namin.”
“Isoli n’yo na lang one of these days.”

Since we have become so busy fixing things in the new flat, we forgot to drop the shoes in our old flat.
Ronald received a text message from an unknown number, “Kuya, pwede po bang padala na nung mga sapatos? Napagalitan na po kasi yung kapatid ko. Naka-rubber shoes sya pumasok sa office,” it was one of the borders.
It was so pathetic, it sounded so funny.

 

Airing the Laundry

After moving out from our old flat, Ronald and I now live across Burn‘s new flat (over a parking lot and a 4-lane road). We can do Morse code by blinking our room lights.

Me: Maglagay tayo ng dalawang latang may tali!
Ronald: Hello!? Celphone!?

Everyday we would see clothes hanging on Burn’s balcony. It’s as if she doesn’t have time to collect and store them. Ronald said, “Mukhang maraming nakatira sa kanila oh. Di nauubos ang sampay. Mukhang laging may naglalaba.”

When Burn visited us 2 days ago, I told her this and asked her, “Di ba hindi naman? Wala ka lang talagang aparador na pagtataguan ng mga damit?”

 

Landlady from Hell…o!

My Dubai friend told me this episode with his landlady…

Landlady: Guys! Yung TFC bill ha? Di pa kayo nagbabayad.
Boarder: Ate, wala naman tayong TV dito eh.
Landlady: Sige, bibili ako. Hati-hati tayo sa bayad ha?

 

Burj Khalifa Directions

After the Burj Khalifa openning, we were walking towards the Metro station when we overheard one Filipino guy on the phone walking pass us, “Hello!? Saan na kayo? Nandito na ako sa tabi ng ginagawang building.”

Wait! Wait! Wait! I think you have made quite a few argumentative situation there, my kababayan:
1. Burj Khalifa Downtown is a big construction site. Which building are we talking about?
2. Let us suppose that you and your friend were talking about the same building, which side of the building are we talking about?

Upon hearing this, Ronald and Tem played around with that line:
“Nandito na ako sa tabi ng puno, saan na kayo?”
“Tanaw ko na ang Burj. Saan na kayo?”
“Nakaapak ako sa halamanan, saan na kayo?”

 

Christmas Spirit

Zinnia and I were trying to stop each other from feeling homesick this Christmas season.

Since we knew we cannot stop the inevitable, we’ve decided to at least postpone the feeling until December 16, 2009. That’s the agreed date that we’ll start feeling homesick. We cannot talk about Philippine Christmas parties, exchange gifts, Starbucks Cinnamon flavored frappuccinos, Christmas shopping, Carolings, puto-bungbong, family reunions and all of it.

I looked outside our office window early this week and saw the hazy view, I assumed that the foggy season started in Dubai so I asked her, “Z! Baka pwede nang umpisahan ma-homesick?”
“Hindi pa pwede!” she demanded.
“Wala kang puso! Ayun na ang Christmas spirit sa labas oh!”
“Hello! Alikabok lang ‘yan!”

 

Christmas Cheer

Bing, my BDO ex-colleague and OFW-mate, will be assigned in Ras Al-Khaima, the northernmost Emirate, out of the 7 Emirates of UAE.
Filipinos are rarely assigned there, usually our kababayans would rather be posted in Dubai or in Abu Dhabi but Bing agreed with the assignment because it’ll be a good career move.

Before she moved, Bing knew what was coming her way: Solitaire; especially that her move will be on the first week of December.
“Anlungkot naman ng Pasko ko. Mag-isa lang ako sa RAK,” she self-pitied.
I needed to cheer her up so I answered, “Lahat naman tayo malungkot eh, basta isipin mo lang…. Mas malungkot ka.”

 

British English

“Di ko sure kung ma-re-receive ko ‘yung e-mail sa akin ng kausap kong Briton,” I told Zinnia.
“Bakit?” she asked.
“Paano ang sabi n’ya and surname ko raw eh Beldedayra. Di ko sure kung tama ‘yung ise-send n’ya,” I answered, “Nakakaasar ang mga Briton, mali-mali ang English nila. Manong sabihin ng maayos ang mga letters”
She chuckled, “Sila pa ba ang mali? Eh ikaw nga lang ang nanghihiram ng salita nila.”

 

Sleep Talkin’ 7: Aswang!

So here’s my room set up in Dubai: one room split into two — one is for bunk bed buddies, Ronald and me while the other half is for Meynard.
Two weeks ago, Meynard’s wife arrived and shared his half. Unfortunately for her she was not orientated that someone (*wink) in the other partition sleep talks.

One night, while she was sleeping cozily beside her husband, she heard a loud scream, “Aswang! Aswang!”
She was so damn scared.

Hahahaha!

 

Antonette vs Aileen

Two of my friends met 2 weeks ago in Bateel.
Aileen, working for the dates company.
Antonette, planned to buy some dates.

“Ay! Ikaw pala si Aileen?!” Antonette exclaimed.
“Oo, ate,” answered Aileen.

Then Antonette bought some dates.
“Pasalubong mo?” Aileen asked.
“Oo, uuwi kasi ako next week.”
“Wow! Buti ka pa uuwi na,” Aileen is really missing home.
“Hay naku! 6 months na nga akong ‘di nakakauwi eh,” Antonette answered. She works for Emirates Airlines as a Flight Attendant. That’s the reason why 6 months is too long for her. “Ang tagal na!” she added.
“Hello!?” Aileen answered, “May mga Pinoy ditong matagal nang di umuuwi!?”

 

The Pssst

I was browsing our company newspaper, Gulf News, in the pantry a few days ago when I stumbled in the editorial page:

It was Barack Obama calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. But wait! Is that a “Pssst…!”?

I immediately forwarded the newspaper to my face… It is a “Psst!”

I always thought that the Pssst is a Filipino trademark of informally calling the attention of your fellowmen.
Then I checked again:

Eh kaya naman pala eh! Si Kabayang Luis Vazquez naman pala ang cartoonist nila. Akala ko naman marunong nang sumutsot si Barack.