Out of Tune

A contestant in Wowowee sang a song. It was out of tune.  I commented, “Ano ba ‘yan! Wala sa tono!”
Ronald, my flatmate, answered, “Meron. Sariling tono n’ya nga lang.”

 

Wowowee vs Eat Bulaga: Which is Funnier?

Willie interviewing a kid contestant on Wowowee…

Will: Nasan ang nanay mo?
Bata: Nasa bahay po. May sakit po sya.
Will: Talaga? Kamusta na sya?
Bata: Wala nga pong panggamot eh.
Will: Eh ang tatay mo?
Bata: Nanonood po sa bahay.

***

Contestants on Pinoy Henyo…

Guesser: Bagay?
Answerer: Hindi!
Guesser: Sa loob ng bahay?
Answerer: Hindi!
Guesser: Sa kwarto?
Answerer: Hindi!!!!
Guesser: Aparador?
Answerer: Hindi!!!!!!!!!!

 

Willie of Fortune

During the Willie of Fortune segment of Wowowee last week, one contestant’s daughter was asked by Willie, “Anong masasabi mo sa nanay mo?”

“Nay!” said the daughter to her mom, “Maraming salamat po. Sa lahat po ng pagsisikap n’yo sa amin. Kahit na basura hinaharap n’yo para lang po may ipangtawid tayo sa pang-araw-araw. Pinipilit n’yo po makapag-aral kaming magkakapatid. Proud na proud po kami sa inyo,” she said sobbing.
Her mom is a basurera. All the contestants were people with livelihood connected to garbage collecting.

Willie, moved by the contestant’s daughter, asked the basurera mom, “Ano pong sasabihin n’yo?”
The mom, teary-eyed answered, “Binabati ko nga po pala lahat ng mga kaibigan kong nanonood ngayon…”

 

Willie is Back

After a month of absence, Willie Revillame is back in Wowowee.

Imagine this:
Ondoy’s flood victims shown on the side of the screen during Willie’s first week back in his show. He screams, “Ano ba ‘yan! Tanggalin n’yo ‘yan! Nag-sasaya tayo dito tapos pinapakita n’yo ‘yan! Ano? Mamili kayo? Ako o yan na lang?”

And he’s suspended again for another month. Nice!

 

Virtual Karaoke Winner Criminal Case

As you are aware, Che and I call each other everyday, because it’s free and we have time. We update each other everyday on what happened and what is happening at that very moment, “Che, inaantok ako…”

This morning, Che screamed over the phone, “Orlee! Nanalo ako sa Virtual Karaoke Promo ng Wowowee!”
“Ha?! Paano?” I asked.
“Sabi lang nung tumawag nanalo raw ako, punta na lang daw ako sa Karama.”
I felt hesitant about it, “Che, scam ‘yan!”
“Yun din and duda ko,” said the UP Graduate, “Pero sabi nila hindi raw. May premyo raw talaga… surprise nga lang.”
“Nanalo na ata ang ate ko ng ganyan sa Pinas, may i-a-avail ka muna tapos bibigay nila sa’yo yung premyo,” I shared my Ate Pam’s experience to her.
“Naku Orlee, Free is free. Dapat ibigay nila sa akin ‘yun. Anlayo kaya ng Karama!”
“Sabihin mo idedemanda mo sila, Pinoy ba?” I asked her.
“Oo Pinoy. Sige sabihin ko talk to my lawyer, emotional stress na ‘to saka pinagod nila ako. Saka na-excite na ako tapos ‘di pala totoo?”
“Update mo ako bukas ha!?” I begged her laughing at Cheche’s punchlines.
“Tatawagan talaga kita. Right then and there!” She told me, “Sasabihin ko sa kanila talk to my lawyer tapos ikaw ang sasagot!”
“Huh? Paano?”
“Sabihin mo nag-wo-work ka sa Sajwari Law Firm tapos sabihin mo ineexpect na ‘to ng client mo, tapos idedemanda mo sila sa Dubai High Court.”
I got excited by the thought of it, “Sige Che! Tapos sabihin ko I-fa-file  ko sa Special Raffles Department!”
“Sige! Excited na rin ako (laughs) basta i-ready mo na ang spiel mo!” She demanded.
“Che! Wag kang tatawa bukas na natatawa! Dapat seryoso ka!”
“Ngayon palang natatawa na ako!”

What happened? We’ll find out tomorrow.

 

The Gum Incident

While waiting for Wowowee in Dubai (waiting meant 3 hours standing in the field in Dubai Festival City at the sun’s highest point), my flatmates and I got tired and exhausted. No food and water was allowed inside the venue while people of all ages, nationalities and odor were cramped in the big venue. It’s a stampede waiting to happen.

Lycel and Bing lied down on the concrete floor to hide from direct sunlight by the shadows cast by me, Gab and Jules.

Gab was chewing gum at that time and ofcourse to kill the time, we goofed around. While goofing around, his gum accidentally fell from his mouth and landed on Lycel! On Lycel’s crotch area! He was so embarrassed that he almost picked up the gum.

“Ay shit! Sorry!” Gab screamed while almost acting on picking it up.

I stopped him, “Gab! Huwag!” because I was embarassed for the almost crotch action.

Lycel, on the other hand, realized the gum on her ‘pants’ and was disgusted by it. She can’t do anything about it because of Gab’s saliva all over the gum.

We were all laughing hard at the thought of it, when Lycel stood up and made the gum fall off.