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Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Legal Wifi

This made my night.

I was searching for other open WiFis in the area and I have stumbled upon this.

Screen Shot 2014-04-29 at 10.40.35 PMThe Legal Wifi!

 
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Posted by on April 29, 2014 in TV Stuff

 

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Bartolina

For some reason the topic going home inside my car came to the solitary confinement – Bartolina.
Kat, unfamiliar with the word, said, “Yun yung ginagamit naming sa report hung college.”
“KARTOLINA yun, Kat!”
“Ay oo nga!” she realized.cartolina2

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Swearing: The Scientific Discovery

998962_10152710872384325_1688956032_n“May kaibigan ho ako, may pumutok na ugat sa utak,” I told my family.
“Kawawa naman,” they answered.
“San ba nakukuha yun? Sa stress?” My mom speculated.
“Nabasa ko na baka sa stress nga yun. Kapag hindi nilalabas yung sama ng loob yung mga internal organs ang nagdadala ng steam,” I told my mom.
“Panong maiiwasan yung sama ng loob na ganun?”
“Yung iba pag-nagmura daw mawawala yung steam sa loob ng katawan,” I told my Nanay.
Being the good mom that she is, she told me, “Naku, anak. Sige lang ng sige ha? Mag mura ka lang ng magmura… Para walang stress.”
“Nay, kaya pala wala kayong stress sa katawan…” I told my Nanay.

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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United States of Mimi

“Ate Mimi, bakit ayaw mo naman magbakasyon sa ibang bansa?” I asked my sister.
“Balak nga namin mamasyal sa Seoul this year eh,” she answered.
“Wow! Maganda dun! Nagustuhan namin ni Mitch dun,” I told her, “Maigi yang mag-travel ka. Nakakawala ng stress ‘yun sa trabaho.”
“Kaya nga,” she answered.
“Bakit ayaw mo mag-try pumunta sa Amerika? Kay Ate Richie!” I suggested.
“Eh di lalo na ako nastress dun! Puro English!” she screamed. She has been based in Japan for quite sometime now that it weakened her command of the English Language. Speak to her in Nihonggo, boy, she’s conversant but ask her to speak in English that’s another story.
I laughed.
“Hindi na ako nakapagsalita dun… puro ‘Good Morning Kuya’ lang ako tapos hindi na ako magsasalita buong araw,” Ate Mimi answered, “Ma-no-nose bleed ako dun!”
“Ate, hindi na nose bleed… Lock jaw na uso ngayon,” I told her.
“Ma-la-lock bibig ko! Hindi bubuka! Baka ipa-massage ko pa ‘yun araw-araw!”
“Sisigawan ka pa ni Richie dun,” Ate Pam butted in.
“Oo nga! Sasabihin nun, ‘ENGLISHIN MO MIMI!” Eh wala nga ako masasabi sa English,” she finished.

MimiAte Mimi for US: That’ll be a treat

 

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2014 in It's All Relative

 

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Paula and Kim

Talking to Paula about her future, I told her, “Paula, plan ahead. Think of your future. Do what you wanna do. Yung passion mo. Halimbawa yang make up make up mo na yan. Baka yan any gusto mo talaga gawi? Imbes na architecture.”
“No, Tito, architecture talaga,” she answered.
“Sabagay. Iba pa rin ang hobby sa work,” I told her. “Naisip ko lang kasi si Kim Kardashian magaling mag-make up make up baka ganun din maging gusto mo paglaki mo. Pano nga ba nag-umpisa si Kim Kardashian?”
Paula laughed.

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Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Boracay Explanation

10245511_487921091330070_567022426_nWalking down the sandy shores of Boracay is quite a treat: the powdery white sand, the picturesque scenery, the clear water, the bright sun, the coconut trees swaying in the wind and the unending, “SirMam, Parasailing?! Banana boat ride? Island hopping?”

There are two ways of dealing with these businessmen: You ignore them and pretend you’re foreign or explain to them, ‘Ayoko po / Tapos na po.’
I choose the former and Mitch would prefer the latter.
“Hon, don’t explain,” I told her, “Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.”

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Heartbeat, Journeyman

 

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Anonymous Text

Reader discretion is advised.

Tem heard our mother’s phone received a text.

She grabbed it and read it out loud, “Nay, sino tong nag-text sa inyo? Padala raw ng pera nasa hospital daw.”
Nanay, who is used to this type of modus operandi messages, replied to Tem casually, “Sabihin mo ‘Tangina mo, mamatay ka na, bisitahin ka namin sa morge.'”

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Posted by on April 7, 2014 in It's All Relative

 

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