Surprise Homecoming

Bing just came back from a surprise one week homecoming. Her kids were shocked and happy at the same time.
“Gab, ang saya mag-surprise!” she told Gab. Gab tried it but his father-in-law had a slip of a tongue; hence, Ingrid, his wife, was prepared for his big ‘surprise’ last year.
Ronald also did this to surprise his ex wife, during her birthday.

I am amazed at how these people could pull a surprise homecoming off so I told them, “Ma-try nga rin ‘yang surprise-surprise na ‘yan,” then I told Jules, “Best! Try mo yan kay Ann. Surpresahin mo sya: Ann, nasa Pinas na ako!”
Gab laughed and said, “Nasa Dubai kaya si Ann!”
“Kaya nga,” I answered, “Siguradong ma-su-surprise ‘yun kapag bigla-biglang nasa Pilipinas na si Julius!”

Cast of Characters: Me, Dad, Gab, DJ, Jules, MJ, Ann, Bing, Ronald

 

Facebook Threat

Because he’s the only person in Dubai who has no Facebook account, I told Jules, “Kapag ‘di ka gumawa ng facebook, ako gagawa para sa’yo. Gusto mong makakita ng mga status messages na: Jules is *** o gusto mo relationship status na Jules hates Ann? O kaya naman mang-aaway ka ng ibang tao sa facebook. Deadline mo hangang March ha?”

With that, he finally made one.

 

Akap at Indayog

“Nasan na kayo?” I heard Ronald talking to Julius on his mobile.
“Saan?” he continued.
“Sige sunod na ako d’yan. Sa ice cream? Sige! Sa hug and dance.”

 

Smoker’s Cough

During our Eid Trip to Jumeirah Beach, I asked Chastine, “Nag-s-smoke ka?”
“Hindi na,” she answered.
“Good for you! What made you stop?”
“Nagkaroon ako ng accute bronchitis.”
“Ano ‘yun?” I followed up. By this time, Jade, Gab, MJ, Antonette, Ann and Jules were all ears. All of them smokers.
“Magkakaroon na ako ng smoker’s cough,” Chastine answered.
“Ano ‘yun?”
“Uubo ka na lang bigla kasi ‘yung phlem mo ‘di mo na kontrolado. Out of nowhere uubo ka na lang.”

“Ayan!” I screamed, “”Yan na nga ba’ng sinasabi ko! Look at your future…” pointed to Chastine then I faked a cough while telling all of my smoker friends.
“Good!” Gab commented, “Wag ka naman manakot!”
“Mas masama kaya ang second-hand smoke!” Someone commented.
I insisted, “Ang saya ‘di ba? Wala lang… Bigla ka nalang uubo… Habang buhay.”

 

Happy Birthday from Jules

Best, Happy Birthday! Di mo naman pinapansin yung messages ko sa Facebook eh. Porke ba wala kayong internet o dahil wala akong Facebook? Hehe.

 

Sir Gago (Lalaking Lady Gaga)

Gab, Jules and I used to play a game called GAGO GAME.

It started with a simple phone call from Julius, “Oh, Best, san ka na?”
“Malapit na ako sa bahay.”
“Pabili naman ng load sa grocery.”
“Sige,” I answered and immediately told him off, “Gago!” and dropped the phone.
Minutes later he called and just said, “GAGO!” and dropped the phone.

Every phone call thereafter will end with who will say, “Gago!” the fastest. Smart game indeed.

One time, Gab went to Gold Souq with Ann and I was about to ask what jewelry item they bought but even before I could ask, Gab screamed, “GAGO!” and dropped the phone. I wanted to get even but Gab won that round. Everytime I called, he would scream, “GAGO!” and drop it.

I was determined. Gusto kong rumesbak.

I even called Bing and asked her, “Kunyari ako si Ate Saffiya tapos ipapasa mo yung phone sa kanya tapos sisigaw lang ako ng Gago.”
Bing agreed and she acted naturally, “Hello? Ate? Oo. Si Gab? Teka eto oh.”
After Bing transferred the phone to Gab, Gab screamed, “GAGO!”
Can’t fool this guy.

The only way to get even was to use another number. I asked my batallion: Susan, Che-che and Zinnia and told them, “Tawagan n’yo lang tong number na to kasi gaganti ako sa GAGO game namin.” I went on to explain the mechanics of the game. “Huwag na kayo magpakilala basta tatawagan n’yo lang ‘yung number n’ya, sisigaw kayo ng gago tapos ibabagsak n’yo na ‘yung phone.”

That afternoon, one confused Gab received different phone calls from different people screaming, “GAGO!”

He even gave Susan a return call, “Hello? Sino to?”
“Ay, classmate ako ni Orlee nung college, napag-utusan lang.”
“Ah, ok.”

Che called me after the prank call, “Orlee, kahit UP graduate ako hindi ko pala kaya yung pinapagawa mo. Kinakabahan ako. Si Hydee ang pinatawag ko. Tawa kami ng tawa dito sa office.”

 

Nuno sa Dubai

Because everyone leaves their leftovers on the table, a new sign was posted on the kitchen wall.

 

Hiwa

In the flat, when someone helps Ronald with the cooking, that person would always boast the thing that he or she did.

“Oh ako ang nag-saing,” Julius would say.
“Wow, sarap naman ng saing mo,” I would answer.

“Oh si Bing ang naghalo ng ulam,” Ronald would say.
“Wow Bing! Galing naman ng pagkakahalo mo,” I would say.

So when Ronald said, “Oh si Burn ang nag-hiwa n’yang baboy.”
I would obviously say, “Burn, sarap naman ng hiwa mo.”

 

Boogerman

It’s a well known fact in the flat that I have a terrible habit: I pick my nose!
At the mall.
In the church.
On my desk.
Using 2 fingers at the same time.
With different strokes.

It is a disgusting habit and I wanted to stop it. I want fate to stop it.

Fate answered and after I cut some really hot peppers for a spicy meal that we were preparing. I dialed the usual numbers and totally forgot to wash my hands! I literally froze in place and shocked.

Jules asked, “Oy! Bakit!? Ano nangyari sa’yo?”

“ANG HAPDI!”

 

It’s Jules’ Turn

Rommel, Jules, Ronald and I went to church this morning. After church, we decided to go to City Centre.

Ronald paid for the taxi going to church while Rommel and I paid for the taxi from St. Mary’s to the mall.

Ronald screamed, “Hoy! Jules! Ikaw naman sa taxi pauwi mamaya!”

“Oh! Bakit ako nanaman? Ako na kanina ah!” he claimed.

“Kelan kanina?” I asked Jules.

“Sa offertory! Ako lang nag-abot kanina. Para sa ating lahat na ‘yun,” he answered.