Estela, the bride, told me via email that I will be the commentator on her wedding.
“Kinakabahan ako… Ako ang centre of attention,” I told her.
“Ikaw talaga? Hindi ba ako!?”
“Ay oo ikaw pala.”
Our new half-Syrian / half-Filipino friend, Yousef, grew up til his 1st Grade in the Philippines. He does not know any place in our home country so everyone suggested,
“Oh kami na bahala sa Quezon City tour mo,” Ronald and Ness suggested.
“Kami na sa Manila side,” Rollie and Mitch suggested.
“Pag mga provinces, si Orlee ang magtu-tour sayo, sa south sya nakatira sa Cavite,” they all commented.
“TALAGANG PAG PROBINSYA AKO? MAGTU-TOUR?”
Nung isang araw nagising ako! Naghahabulan galing sa dulo ng Del Pilar! May dalang kutsilyo. Magpapatayan ata. Tapos sa tapat pa talaga ng bintana ko tumigil. Parang di naman sasaksakin. Nananakot lang. May mga taga-awat din pero di naman maawat.
Nung di ko na natiis, sumilip na ako sabi ko, “Hoy! Mga P@#% nyo! Kung magsasaksakan kayo, dun kayo sa tapat ng buhay nyo! Mga leche!”
Ayun, kuya, nahiya naman. Nag-alisan naman.”
I called home today.
Samantha picked up, “Hello?”
“SAM?!” I spoke.
“Hello?” she spoke again.
Since I rarely speak to my niece, I decided to horse around. “SAMANTHA CORONADO!” I sounded like a killer.
“Sino to?” she asked.
“SAAAAMMMMM……” I continued whispering.
“Ano kailangan mo kay Samantha Coronado?” She spoke again but this time I clearly heard that it was not Sam I was speaking to but my mom.
“Ay! Nay! Kamusta po?”
“Choy? Huwag ka ngang mananakot! Natakot ako sa’yo!”
“Hiyaaah!” I screamed after a soft serve.
“Yaaahhhh!” Rollie screamed hitting my service.
“Huh!” Tin screamed though she didn’t hit the shuttle cock.
We laughed our asses off as because it was so funny. We were hitting the ball softly though screaming so hard.
Another funny thing… The court next to us stopped screaming.
Saurabh, an Indian colleague, asked me , “Orlee, how are you in Filipino?”
“Perfect. It’s my first language so I speak it very well.”
“No,” he told me, “What is Filipino?”
“It’s a language. Based on Tagalog. Tagalog is a dialect but the whole Philippines speaks it so it’s called Filipino.”
“So how are you?”
“What is HOW ARE YOU IN FILIPINO!?”
I laughed when I realized it, “Kamusta ka…”