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Category Archives: OFW (ok fine whatever)

RemitTEMce

I have remitted the allowance to my sister this week and have sent the following message:”Tem, naipadala ko na ang pera. Itakas mo na ang mga bata. Umalis na kayo dyan sa bahay na yan! Dali!”

Last time I told her, “Nasend ko na, ipatumba mo na sa mga bata…”
Even before that: “Nasayo na ang pera, tigilan nyo na ang pamilya namin.”

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Sinobrahan

“Kuya, dumating na quarterly dues mo sa Insurance,” my sister told me.

After a few days, I’ve sent the following photo to her and told her, “Tem, ayan na napadala ko na yung Php 2,700. Dinagdagan ko na ng Php 200.00 para pang-gimik mo sa Tagaytay. Have fun.”

“Kuya, salamat! Pang-gas din ‘yun,” She answered sarcastically.

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My Hometown’s Produce

“Krithi,” I asked my colleague, “What fruit does not grow in India?”
“We grow everything, mangoes, apples, grapes, kiwi… all kinds of fruits.”
“Really?” I asked, “That’s nice.”
“My hometown is famous for pepper and apples.” She lives in Kanata part of India.
“Me? My hometown is famous for illegal drugs and killing people (salvaging),” I proudly answered.
“Seriously!?”
“We also have prostitution.”
“Mommy!!!” she screamed covering her ears.

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Proud Caviteño.

 

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TBT #3: Duboi’s First Month

I celebrated my fifth year in Dubai and in Al Futtaim Willis on 10th September 2013. I’ve posted this picture on Instagram:

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I suddenly remembered this blog entry back in 2008… back when I was just celebrating a month in Dubai:

Duboi decided to compile the lessons he’d learned in his first 30 days in Dubai :

  1. Stop multiplying everything by 12.5 and stop adding 4 in your watch. You just won’t be able to stay in the present if you keep on doing that.
  2. Wear comfortable shoes.” Walang tricycle, hijo, sa Dubai.” The nearest shop maybe 1 km away and there is no other means of transportation but to walk! How I miss the Tricycle Capital of the Philippines: Cavite.
  3. Learn how to cook. I don’t need to explain that. It saves a lot of money and ofcourse you get to eat what you like. Ate Richie called and I proudly screamed, “Ate! Marunong na ako mag-gisa!” “Haha! Gisa lang?” she answered. “Dati kaya pirito lang alam ko.”
  4. Wash your beddings regularly. Why? Zoorot.
  5. Cheap vs Expensive Roll Call: Cheap: Transportation, Detergent, Fabric Softener,Perfume, Electronic Products, Branded Clothes, Seeing Che-che Palomar(nanlilibre). Expensive: Contact Lens Solution, Lacoste, Aparador, Pillows, Suits, Food, Books (I miss my National Bookstore), Seeing my sister (nagpapalibre).
  6. Never ask an Indian spell their names. Dunno how to explain it, you have to experience it.
  7. Househunting is Fun! Though it may suck for a while but the thought of living independently is great. You get to choose who’ll be your housemates for the next so many years.
  8. Warn your housemates first about your sleeptalking. It’s not nice to hear “Sunog! Sunog!” when you’re in the middle of your sleep especially when there is none.
  9. Start practicing the words: ‘Kabayan’ to fellow Filipinos, ‘Pare’ (as in Kumpare) to Indians and ‘My Friend’ to everybody else.
  10. Pack some vicks vaporub or White Flower if you don’t like sniffing the smell of the Onion Smelling People.
  11. Wear Sunblock: That’s a golden rule. Why? Hell! The air here is hotter than a hairdryer’s air. Feeling mo kasing laki ng nostrils mo ang pores mo dito dahil sa sobrang init ng hangin. Kung ayaw mo matipak ang mukha mo, mag sunblock ka.
  12. Buses here suck! Nakakamiss ang mga bus sa EDSA na kahit anong mangyari ay hihintayin kang sumakay kahit tumatawid ka palang sa kabilang side ng kalsada o papalabas sa looban mong napakalayo. Dito, nasa harap ka na ng bus, yung tipong pasakay ka na. Yung tipong andyan na sa harap mo, pag late ka isasara sa mukha mo. Lesson: Don’t be late in the bus stop.
 

Prank Call From Dubai

untitledI called home today.
Samantha picked up, “Hello?”
“SAM?!” I spoke.
“Hello?” she spoke again.
Since I rarely speak to my niece, I decided to horse around. “SAMANTHA CORONADO!” I sounded like a killer.
“Sino to?” she asked.
“SAAAAMMMMM……” I continued whispering.
“Ano kailangan mo kay Samantha Coronado?” She spoke again but this time I clearly heard that it was not Sam I was speaking to but my mom.
“Ay! Nay! Kamusta po?”
“Choy? Huwag ka ngang mananakot! Natakot ako sa’yo!”
“Sorry po…”

 

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Nay, Damit Ko?

“Orlee, bakit nakita ko yung binigay ko sayong damit nasa Nanay mo na? Nakita ko sa Facebook,” Jade asked me.
“Ah yung Mango (brand)?” I asked, “Nakuha ni Nanay eh.”
“Paanong nakuha?”
“Nagustuhan ko kasi talaga yun so dinala ko sa Pinas nung huling uwi ko,” I told him, “Tapos kinabukasan bukas na maleta ko,” Then I told Jade this…

Orlee: Nay, nasan na ho mga laman ng maleta ko?
Nanay: Ahhh… Napamigay ko na.
Orlee: Yung t-shirt ko?
Nanay: Nakatago na sa aparador… ko.

Jade just laughed as he understood what had happened.

Orlee Nanay

 

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Red Wine Retirement Plan

I went to a real estate showcase last night .

During the opening spiel, the presentor showed various “cliche-ic” retirement photos: Travel, having fun in the beach, old people having wine, walking into the sunset and all that.
Then she said, “Sino gusto nito?”
We all answered, “Gusto rin namin ng red wine.”

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Posted by on December 1, 2012 in OFW (ok fine whatever)

 

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