Usapang High

A few years ago, my sister, Tem, brought home a marijuana plant. Yes! You read that right! A Marijuana Plant!

“Kuya, bigay ng tropa ko!” she proudly said.
“Ok ka lang?” I asked.
“Oo naman! Palalaguin ko to. Amporma ‘di ba?”
“Anong sabi ng nanay?”
“Di pa n’ya alam.”

Fast forward to a few days after…
“Nay, alam n’yo bang may uwi si Tem na marijuana?”
“Oo, dinidiligan ko nga araw-araw, eh.”
I was appalled. This craziness should stop! So I injected my evil (but genius) thoughts to nanay’s: “Nay! Alam n’yo bang illegal ang magtanim ng marijuana?”
“Talaga?” she wondered.
“At alam n’yo ho bang kapag nagkasilipan ng bakuran eh kayo ang hahanapin ng mga pulis dahil kayo ang may-ari ng bahay?”
“Oo nga ano?” she agreed.

Another few days…
“Nay, ‘yung marijuana natin?” Tem asked.
“Pinakain ko na sa manok.”
“Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed.
“Nay, kamusta ang manok?” I asked.
“Ayun! High!” Nanay answered.

 

Pakain Ka Naman

Zinnia has a boyfriend!

But she can’t scream this fact to everyone.
When the news slowly crept through the office, our colleagues were kinda disappointed:
“Zinni! Why didn’t you tell me you now have a boyfriend?”
“Hey you! Keeping secrets from me?”

Zinnia told me, “Ano gagawin ko, Orlee? Maglagay ng treats sa pantry? PLEASE HELP YOURSELF WITH SOME SWEETS IN THE PANTRY. I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND – ZINNIA

 

Didn’t

“I didn’t (di-dint) do it!” Uttered Ronald, my flatmate.
“Anong Didint? Didint Reyes?”
“Eh pano ba?”
“Din’t lang pwede na! ‘I din’t do it.’”

 

New Centrum

Ate Richie just brought new vitamins from the US — New Centrum!

Ate Mimi, Nanay, Tatay and I were all excited! “Wow! Centrum! Mahal to ah! Imported pa.”
“Bagong labas ‘yan sa US,” ate Richie boastfully answered.
After each taking one and went our usual daily routine, we felt kinda tired.

That night ate Mimi told me, “Antok na antok ako ngayon araw na ‘to.”
“Ako rin, I told her, “Si tatay din.”
“Baka dahil sa vitamins!”
I checked the vitamins and read – Centrum Silver: For age 50 and up.

Kaya naman pala nanay lang ang di inantok. Para sa edad n’ya pala.

 

Shopping Luckily

Tem and I were window shopping in H&M yesterday when I saw a rack of good looking clothes for her, “Tem! Eto oh baka gusto mo!?”
“Oo nga,” she answered, “Kaya lang lucky sizes na lang to, eh.”
She was browsing through each hanger when I realized what she said and thought out loud, “Ah walang malaking size?”
She blushed and screamed, “Kuya! Isigaw mo pa!” she started walking away while blurting, “Ayoko na nga!”

 

Christmas Spirit

Zinnia and I were trying to stop each other from feeling homesick this Christmas season.

Since we knew we cannot stop the inevitable, we’ve decided to at least postpone the feeling until December 16, 2009. That’s the agreed date that we’ll start feeling homesick. We cannot talk about Philippine Christmas parties, exchange gifts, Starbucks Cinnamon flavored frappuccinos, Christmas shopping, Carolings, puto-bungbong, family reunions and all of it.

I looked outside our office window early this week and saw the hazy view, I assumed that the foggy season started in Dubai so I asked her, “Z! Baka pwede nang umpisahan ma-homesick?”
“Hindi pa pwede!” she demanded.
“Wala kang puso! Ayun na ang Christmas spirit sa labas oh!”
“Hello! Alikabok lang ‘yan!”

 

Note To Self: Joy’s Birthday

“Boo, tumawag ako kay Joy kanina,” I told my girlfriend during our phone conversation yesterday.
Without asking me for the reason, she just asked, “Talaga? Anong sabi n’ya?”
“Sabi n’ya: Thank you.” I left it at that. I waited for her answer.
“Ay!!!! Birthday n’ya nga pala ngayon!” she screamed, “Ka-text ko na s’ya kanina ‘di ko pa binati!”

 

New Moon Fan

Roger, my colleague, saw New Moon in Manila so when he came back he was so excited to share the story to me and Zinnia, “Ganda, pare!”
“Panget daw eh,” we told him.
“Hindi! Ayus lang. Ganun pala mga vampire…” he started. We assumed he’ll tell us about the ways and means of vampires.
Before he could even finish, we cut him off, “Pare, ‘ganun pala mga vampire?‘ Baka nalilimutan mo pelikula lang ‘yun.”
He laughed, “Oo nga pala.”

 

Pulling Myself Up

I was just getting used to using the Pull Up Machine in the gym. Since I was seriously (take note: seriously) concentrating on my back muscles I knew the Pull Up Machine should be my friend.
Unfortunately, the Pull Up Machine is connected to the Lat Pull Down; hence, one cannot use it if someone is using the other. Sorry, I cannot find a photo of the machine on the web.

Earlier today in the gym, one Chinese woman was using the Lat Pull Down, so I asked her, “Can we alternate?”
She answered, “Sure!” This Chinese woman is still new to the gym so she is still being guided by the gym instructor.
I did my pull ups, “One…. Two…..” then jumped off. That’s my personal best.

When the gym instructor noticed why the Chinese woman stopped doing her pull downs he asked, “Why did you stop?”
She answered, “Because he,” pointing to me, “is doing the pull up… But he can’t do it.”
I reddened and  immediately told her, “Why not announce it to everyone?”

 

Aircraft Lesson

I asked Mabel, my choirmate, “Uuwi ka sa Pasko, ‘di ba? Anong eraplano mo?”
“Orlee, mali!” she smiled, “Anong airline? dapat.”
I just realized, “Oo nga, ano? Sa lahat ng tinatanungan ko laging ‘yun ang tanong ko.”
She laughed, “Pwede kasing Boeing or Airbus ang sakyan ko.”