I called my sister, I wanted to hear about the news that she just bought a new iPhone.
“Hello?” I opened.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hello?” she said, “Hello?”
“Hello?” I was getting crossed, “Hello?” and I dropped it.
After a few minutes, she called back, “Hello?”
“Hello!?” I screamed.
“Kuya!” she replied, “Sorry may plastic pa pala kanina…”
Her new iPhone
“Ano ba kasi dinikit mo sa kusina at inalis nila?” I asked Tem. Her flatmates removed her reminders in the wall that caused a big brawl.
“Ewan ko ba nga kung bakit nila inalis. Ang sabi ko lang naman dun: CLEAN AS YOU GO PIGS.
“Yun lang naman pala, bakit naman sila maiinis?”
Since I am planning the budget for the proposed Vigan trip for my family, the trip being sponsored by me, Ate Pam and Ate Mimi, I told Tem, who’s not coming home this year, “Di isasama si Miggy.”
“Ay!? Bakit!?” she asked worriedly.
“Kasi hindi s’ya bayad. Kailangang magbayad ng nanay n’ya. Iiwan na lang s’ya,” I answered.
“Iiwan!? Baka gusto n’yong kayo ang iwan ko.”
“Bastos talaga mga kanta sa Amerika, ano?” I told my sister.
“Oo nga!” My sister answered.
“Try mo tagalugin yung ‘I Wanna Make Love in This Club’ ni Usher. ” I challenged her.
“Umm… Gusto kong magkan+*$#@n sa Diskuhan…”
Well, that rhymes.
“Eh s’ya naman pala talaga,” I exclaimed, after 24 Oras News confirmed that the photo of Charice in Preview was not photoshopped.
“Buhok n’ya lang ang ginamit para itago ang mga pisngi n’ya,” Tem answered.
“Try mo rin kaya yun?” I told my sister, “Itago ang mga pisngi mo sa buhok mo.”
“Eh di ikaw kaya, kuya!” she told me back, “Aahhhh! Kaya ka pala nag-pa-pa-balbas! Ha!?”
I showed my friends the Balitang Middleeast clips showing our choir here in Dubai.
Sarcastically, I told them, “Di nga ako masyadong na-camera…”
My sister screamed, “Di nga eh no!? Gitnang-gitna ka pa eh.”
Looking at Atong’s teeth, Tem said, “Kuya Atong, gusto ko ring mag-brace!”
“Bakit?” I asked her, “Maganda naman ngipin mo.”
“Gusto ko kasing mamayat.”
Everybody laughed.
“Seryoso ako. Mahirap daw kasing kumain kapag may brace.”
“Ano ba gusto mong brace?” I told her, “Yung parang kay Gloria?”
“Yun siguradong mamayat ka dun. Payat na payat sya eh.”
During my birthday…
“Kuya, hindi tayo nakagawa ng Bull Frog dahil wala tayong Blue Curacao,” my sister, the bartender for my birthday, told me. She has pronounced the Caribbean country as KURAKAW. The drink, was apparently, in demand.
“Tem… Curacao (kyu-ra-saw),” I told her.
“Ay ganun ba ‘yun? Ok!” She answered.
After a few minutes, she approached me, “Kuya, may bisita kang kagaya ko. Umorder ba naman ng Mojito (mo-jee-to). Natawa na lang ako sa loob ko. Baka ibigay ko sa kanya si Mojacko. Moja-moja.”
During birthdays, it’s nice to see group pictures and check who came and decided to celebrate with you on your special day.
Pat and I knew that our guests will come in batches so we have decided on an hourly Group Pic…
7 PM
8 PM
9 PM
10 PM
11 PM
12 MN
1 AM
2 AM
Like New Year’s Eve, everybody waited for the top of the hour and counting down the minutes so that we can finally hold a group picture.
“Kunyari pa kayong Group Pic everyhour! Gusto n’yo lang naman i-remind ang bisita n’yo na ‘HOY ALAS DOSE NA!’” My sister commented.
“Actually, gusto naming makita kung sino ang pinaka-matagal nag-stay. Pag naka-3 group pic ka ibig sabihin kanina ka pa nandito,” I answered.
“Hello!? Bakit di mo sinasagot ang mga tawag ko?” I asked my sister after she finally answered my call after the millionth attempt.
“Para malaman mo ang pakiramdam ng hindi sinasagot ang phone,” she answered.
“Sabi ko na nga ba galit ka eh?”
“Oo galit ako sa’yo. Di mo sinasagot mga tawag ko saka kahit sa mga text ko di ka sumasagot.”
“Sorry naman. Lagi lobat phone ko eh,” I apologized and told her, “Next time nga sabihin mo naman sa akin na galit ka pala para naman alam ko.”
