Bigotilyo

MJ asked, “Orlee, kaya ka nagpapa-bigote para pang akit ng chicks, ano?”
“Pantaboy sa rapist,” I answered.
“Oo nga naman,” he agreed.

 

Denied 3

Even before applying for the much anticipated visa, MJ already knew he’ll follow suit. He scheduled his US Visa application the day after mine.

During my low-Wednesday-denial-day, Antonette asked, “Ano? Inuman na ba ‘yan?”
I answered, “Bukas na lang. Kapag na-deny na rin si MJ.”
“Isusumbong kita!”

And he was.

 

Try-At-Loan Day

Two months ago, MJ, Ronald and I participated in Flora Grand Hotel‘s Indoor Triathlon. It was 1 km  rowing machine, 1 km cross trainer and 1.5 km treadmill. “Any level you want but no holding the bars on the treadmill. Fastest to finish will win a one year membership in the gym,” said the gym instructor.

During the practices, there was this one Arab guy who was really making us eat his dust. He was damn fast! All three machines in 17 minutes! MJ and I could hardly make it by 19 minutes.

Boxing day. The Arab guy was up first. He sped thru the rowing and cross-training machines. He was tired after those two machines so when he was in the treadmill and blasted the speed to 15 he wasn’t able to catch his breath and held to the bars.

Ronald immediately whispered to the instructor, “Excuse me! He’s holding the bar.”
The instructor immediately told the Arab guy, “I’m sorry you can’t do that.”
So the Arab guy unheld the bars and almost fell. He stopped the treadmill and was disqualified.

Ronald told MJ, “Disqualified na. Mas malaki ang chance natin manalo.”
“Sumbungerong palaka!” Screamed MJ.

 

Madayang Balikbayan Box

As the cliche-ic saying goes, “Change is the only thing constant in this world” or something like that.
In Dubai, “Moving around from one flat to another” is the constant thing for Filipinos. I’ve been here in Dubai for only 13 months and I have moved into 3 flats already.

My latest move was when MJ left our trio, so Ronald and I were stuck with each other.
“Napakarami mo kasing gamit kaya ‘di tayo makapag bedspace,” I told Ronald.
“Eh walang magagawa, ganun talaga,” he answered, “Pero ipapadala ko na rin ang mga luma kong gamit sa Nanay ko sa Pinas para kumonti naman.”

A few days later, a big balikbayan box was being filled in our room, he was collecting all his old stuff and was about to send it. He was browsing thru my clothes when he asked, “Ginagamit mo pa ba ‘to?”
“Hindi na,” I answered. Then I realized, “Bakit!?”
“Ipapadala ko na sa mga kapatid ko sa Pinas.”
“At bakit!? Damit mo ba ‘yan?”
“Eh hindi mo nanaman ginagamit eh,” he answered.
“Kahit na! Bakit mo ipapadala ang luma kong damit sa mga kapatid mo?”
“Pampuno sana, EH DI HUWAG!

The day before he sent the box, mostly old stuff, he went out and gone to the grocery.
“Ano bibilhin mo?” I asked him.
“Chocolates saka mga grocery items, ilalagay ko sa ibabaw ng kahon.”
“Napakadaya mo naman!” I told him, “Pagbukas ng kahon ng nanay mo matutuwa kasi puro chocolate tapos paghalukay n’ya sa ilalim puro lumang gamit.”
“Hindi naman!”

 

Smoker’s Cough

During our Eid Trip to Jumeirah Beach, I asked Chastine, “Nag-s-smoke ka?”
“Hindi na,” she answered.
“Good for you! What made you stop?”
“Nagkaroon ako ng accute bronchitis.”
“Ano ‘yun?” I followed up. By this time, Jade, Gab, MJ, Antonette, Ann and Jules were all ears. All of them smokers.
“Magkakaroon na ako ng smoker’s cough,” Chastine answered.
“Ano ‘yun?”
“Uubo ka na lang bigla kasi ‘yung phlem mo ‘di mo na kontrolado. Out of nowhere uubo ka na lang.”

“Ayan!” I screamed, “”Yan na nga ba’ng sinasabi ko! Look at your future…” pointed to Chastine then I faked a cough while telling all of my smoker friends.
“Good!” Gab commented, “Wag ka naman manakot!”
“Mas masama kaya ang second-hand smoke!” Someone commented.
I insisted, “Ang saya ‘di ba? Wala lang… Bigla ka nalang uubo… Habang buhay.”

 

Official Nominee

“MJ! Tignan mo oh! Nominee ako sa 2009 Philippine Blog Awards,” I proudly showed MJ while pointing to the logo on the side of my blog.

“Wow! Nominee ka? Sino nag-nominate sa’yo?” MJ asked.
I hesitated before answering, “Ummmm… Sarili ko?” I answered shyly.
“Nyak! Ikaw lang pala.” 

This was a month ago. But today, I received the e-mail from PBA! I’m an official nominee! Yeba!

 

Quitters are Winners

MJ, a chain smoker, asked me, “Orlee, ganda na ba ng katawan ko?” He goes to the gym everyday.
“Ayus na rin,” I answered, “Kaya lang maitim ang lungs mo.”

 

City Centre Fashion

Ronald, MJ and I planned to go to Deira City Centre to hang out since it was the weekend. I noticed that Ronald was only wearing shoes and shorts, the typical pinoy porma in Dubai, while MJ was in his comfortable shirt , shorts and slippers. I wore jeans, chucks and my expensive t-shirt.
I noticed that our clothes doesn’t jive so I asked them, “Ano ba naman yang mga porma n’yo. Baduy.”
“Hello!” MJ reacted, “City Centre lang ‘yun. Parang Trinoma lang saka SM North EDSA.”
Since they both live in Quezon City while, I, from Cavite, answered, “Kaya nga! SM North EDSA saka Trinoma! Ganito nga suot ko.”
“Ay! Oo nga pala,” they answered, “Taga-Province ka nga pala.”

 

One Day Training Program

I finally enrolled in the gym after a 2-year hiatus.

After my enrolment day, MJ, Ronald and I, while on our way home, saw Don, one of our tropapeeps.
“Tol!” he said, “San kayo galing?”
“Gym,” we all answered.
He looked at all 3 of us. “Parang si Orlee lang ang may improvement sa inyo ah,” Don said.
“Shuhada!” Ronald screamed, “First day n’ya kaya.”

After the encounter, I bragged to MJ and Ronald Don’s comment, “Oha! Isang araw palang ako sa gym n’yan ha? Kayo kailan pa kayo nag-gy-gym?”

 

Dentista Na

MJ and I were chatting last night before going to sleep about our goals in life and the success that we have reached so far.
After afew topics he then said, “…Yung kaibigan ko nga, mas bata pa sa’yo pero dentista na,” with a certain air of boastfullness.
“Pare, palagay mo ba magiging dentista ako sa trabaho ko?” I told him.
He stopped and think for awhile, “Oo nga no?” he realized, “Mali ang sentence construction.”