Ronald the Gulliver

“Sabi ni Bing napaka-Gulliver ko,” Ronald said after telling him that I really like his MacBook Air.
” Haha! Gullible! Hindi gulliver! Ano ka higante?”
“Si Bing nagsabi nun! Nakakahiya si Bing UST pa man din s’ya.”

 

Larawan ng Inggit

Ronald with his new MacBook Air. Bing: Green with Envy.

 

Bing’s Singapore Shirt

“Orlee, Singapore t-shirt ko ha?” Bing asked me. I’ll be flying to Singapore on December.
“Ay! Ummm…” I have to think of some reason so that I could not pass not having to spend for an expensive t-shirt.
“Kahit ‘yung SINGAPORE IS A FINE CITY t-shirt.”
“Bawal na raw ‘yun… Kasi ano… Na-offend daw ang government ng Singapore. Pinagbawal na s’yang i-produce…” Yes! That’s a valid excuse.
“Shuhada!” she exclaimed, “Gagawa ka pa ng reason, eh alam mo namang pag-alis mo sa Singapore ako naman ang darating. Magpapalusot ka pa d’yan! Tinetesting lang kita.”

 

Noong Araw

I’ve heard that back then, rich college students used to work in fastfood restaurants as a part-timer just for the heck of it. They don’t need the money just the experience.

I didn’t really know about this so I wanted to verify. I asked my friends during one dinner, “Noong araw ba?….”
Bing immediately looked up and answered, “Oh!? Noong araw? Ako makakasagot n’yan. Yes?”

The Dinner

 

Span of Time

“Grabe, Orlee, ‘di n’ya alam ang phrase na Span of Time!” complained Bing. Her colleague doesn’t know the term.
Ronald reacted, “Yun lang ‘di n’ya alam?”
I then asked him, “Sige nga! Ikaw nga! Ano ibig sabihin ng Span of Time?”
“Pahabain ang oras!” He answered proudly.
“Bet! Hindi EXPAND OF TIME! Span of time!”

 

Bing’s Hell: Story After

Bing was in the Philippines when I posted this blogpost on her facebook wall.
After she returned to her RAK flat, she noticed that her flatmates were ignoring her up to the point of being rude. Snobbing her everytime.
She received a call from her friends, “Bing, bin-log ka ni Orlee ah.”
“San mo nakita?” she asked.
“Nasa facebook wall mo.”
“Naku!” she screamed, “Friends ko kaya sa facebook ang mga flatmate ko!”

Kaya pala ‘di nila ako pinapansin.

 

Permea Plus 2

“Kamusta ‘yung shampoo mo?” Bing asked when she visited from RAK three weeks ago.
“Ok naman. Magaspang s’ya sa buhok pero ewan ko lang kung ano ang resulta,” I answered.
“Mahal naman kasi.”
“Kaya nga tinitipid ko eh. Every other day lang ako mag-shampoo.”
“Ayun naman pala eh. Tipid.”
“Kaya nga alam ko kung may gumagamit na iba eh,” I followed up eyeing Ronald.

He knew what I was thinking so he screamed, “Hoy! May sarili akong shampoo!”

 

Pooison

While watching the episode of FRIENDS where Rachel gives birth to Emma, Bing told me how hard it really is to be in labor, “Sobrang masakit. Mamumura mo talaga ang lalaki!”
“Suwi dapat ako,” I told her.
“Talaga?”
“Oo. Tapos kinausap lang ako ni nanay habang nasa tyan ako. Tapos bumaligtad naman daw ako.”
“Buti nakakaintindi ka na nuon pa lang.”
“Sobra nga ako sa araw eh.”
“Buti ‘di ka pa tumae sa loob ng tyan?”
“Tumae ako! Puro nga raw ako tae nung lumabas ako eh.”
“Kadiri! Buti ‘di ka nalason!”
“Nakakalason ba ‘yun?”
“Oo! Meron ngang mga batang may diperensya na kapag nakakain sila ng tae nila… Kaya pala.”
“Ok.”

 

The Lovely Bones

“Ano ba istorya n’yang Lovely Bones na ‘yan kasi?” asked Ronald and Bing. I dragged them to watch one of my favorite books (now adapted to a movie).
“Ayoko i-spoil,” I answered, “Basta drama.”
“Nye! Ayoko ng drama!” Ronald protested.
“Wala nang magagawa, nakabili na ng ticket.”

After the movie, Bing told me, “Maganda nga s’ya.”
“It delivered ‘di ba?” I answered, “Yung iba d’yan ayaw raw ng drama, pero s’ya pala ang iiyak.”
“Eh sa nakakaiyak eh!” Ronald screamed.
“Ni hindi nga kami naiyak ni Bing eh,” I told him.
“Kaya ayaw n’ya ng drama kasi iiyak s’ya,” Bing added.

 

Surprise Homecoming

Bing just came back from a surprise one week homecoming. Her kids were shocked and happy at the same time.
“Gab, ang saya mag-surprise!” she told Gab. Gab tried it but his father-in-law had a slip of a tongue; hence, Ingrid, his wife, was prepared for his big ‘surprise’ last year.
Ronald also did this to surprise his ex wife, during her birthday.

I am amazed at how these people could pull a surprise homecoming off so I told them, “Ma-try nga rin ‘yang surprise-surprise na ‘yan,” then I told Jules, “Best! Try mo yan kay Ann. Surpresahin mo sya: Ann, nasa Pinas na ako!”
Gab laughed and said, “Nasa Dubai kaya si Ann!”
“Kaya nga,” I answered, “Siguradong ma-su-surprise ‘yun kapag bigla-biglang nasa Pilipinas na si Julius!”

Cast of Characters: Me, Dad, Gab, DJ, Jules, MJ, Ann, Bing, Ronald