New Moon Fan

Roger, my colleague, saw New Moon in Manila so when he came back he was so excited to share the story to me and Zinnia, “Ganda, pare!”
“Panget daw eh,” we told him.
“Hindi! Ayus lang. Ganun pala mga vampire…” he started. We assumed he’ll tell us about the ways and means of vampires.
Before he could even finish, we cut him off, “Pare, ‘ganun pala mga vampire?‘ Baka nalilimutan mo pelikula lang ‘yun.”
He laughed, “Oo nga pala.”

 

Pulling Myself Up

I was just getting used to using the Pull Up Machine in the gym. Since I was seriously (take note: seriously) concentrating on my back muscles I knew the Pull Up Machine should be my friend.
Unfortunately, the Pull Up Machine is connected to the Lat Pull Down; hence, one cannot use it if someone is using the other. Sorry, I cannot find a photo of the machine on the web.

Earlier today in the gym, one Chinese woman was using the Lat Pull Down, so I asked her, “Can we alternate?”
She answered, “Sure!” This Chinese woman is still new to the gym so she is still being guided by the gym instructor.
I did my pull ups, “One…. Two…..” then jumped off. That’s my personal best.

When the gym instructor noticed why the Chinese woman stopped doing her pull downs he asked, “Why did you stop?”
She answered, “Because he,” pointing to me, “is doing the pull up… But he can’t do it.”
I reddened and  immediately told her, “Why not announce it to everyone?”

 

Aircraft Lesson

I asked Mabel, my choirmate, “Uuwi ka sa Pasko, ‘di ba? Anong eraplano mo?”
“Orlee, mali!” she smiled, “Anong airline? dapat.”
I just realized, “Oo nga, ano? Sa lahat ng tinatanungan ko laging ‘yun ang tanong ko.”
She laughed, “Pwede kasing Boeing or Airbus ang sakyan ko.”

 

Miggy and Boo

My girlfriend told me:

Boo, dumalaw ako kanina sa bahay n’yo. Si Miggy sinalubong ako!
Sabi ko, ‘Miggy! Ang laki mo na!’
Tapos biglang binaril ako: Bang! Bang! daw.
Ayaw n’ya kaya sa akin?

 

Skinhead and Glasses

Staring at my choirmate’s skin head, Atong’s, I shared with him, “Gusto ko talaga mag-pa-ganyan.”
“Bakit naman hindi?” he asked.
“Kasi nakasalamin ako.”
“Eh ano naman?”
“Isipin mong mabuti,” I told him.

 

Star Stroke

When me and my Book Burnermates met last July in Fully Booked-Taguig, I was star-stricken to see one famous female-director. See picture below.

I told Frifri, “Pa-picture tayo kay Marilou Diaz-Abaya!”
“Ssssshhhhhh!!!!!!!! Orlee! Huwag kang maingay. Hindi ‘yan si Marilou Diaz-Abaya! Si Bibeth Orteza ‘yan!”

 

Vegetable Serving

Ronald, my roommate,  and I are trying to eat healthy by having at least 2 servings of vegetable per day.

When he got lazy one day and had cooked only tocino for our respective packed lunches, he asked me, “Ok lang wala tayong gulay ngayon?”

“Syempre ok lang,” I answered, and suggested, “kumain kaya tayo kahit carrots lang para naman at least may gulay pa rin tayo,” I was thinking he’ll cut carrot sticks as an alternative vegetable serving.

I was shocked when I saw what he prepared:

I asked him, “Ano ako? Atsara?”

 

Green Card Dream

“Choy! Si nanay may Visa na!” ate Richie screamed over the phone.  Nanay’s long awaited green card has been finally approved.
“Ate…. Gabi pa dito.”
“Anong oras na ba?”
“12:45 AM,” I answered sleepily.
“Ay! Sorry!”

Sa sobrang excitement nakalimutang isipin kung anong oras na sa bansang tinatawagan.

 

Christmas Hideaway

“Nay, magtatago nanaman ba kayo sa pasko?” I asked my mother.
“Aba’y syempre. Magpupunta ulit kami sa beach,” she answered.
“Walang pera…” I teased her.
“Malaya akong makakapaglakad-lakad sa tabing-dagat at walang kaba sa dibdib.”

 

Google Almighty

Ronald and I saw Zinnia’s facebook status:

Ronald asked, “Ano yung reticent?”
“I-Google mo!” I told him.
“I-goo-Google pa eh sasabihin mo na lang.”
“Para matuto ka lagi mong i-Google lang.”
“Ano nga!?!??!?!” he demanded.
“Di ko rin alam eh.”
“Kaya naman pala.

ret·i·cent // (rt-snt)

adj.

1. Inclined to keep one’s thoughts, feelings, and personal affairs to oneself. See Synonyms at silent.

2. Restrained or reserved in style.

3. Reluctant; unwilling.