Festival Expert

“Dapat kasama si Michelle sa Barcelona Festival kasi marami na s’yang experience sa mga festival,” Atong told us.
“Sinong Michelle?” asked Rollie.
“Michelle lang napag-usapan eh. Di sinabi kung si Michelle o si Mabel.”
“Kasi kung si Michelle Michelle yun, hindi pa s’ya nakakakanta sa mga Festival,” Rollie told us.
“Alam?” I asked, “Baka naman mga Kadayawan, Panagbenga, Sto Nino, Ati-atihan ang mga Festival na na-attendan n’ya.”

 

The Filipino Revenge in Brazil

“Ano naman balak mong gawin sa Brazil?” Cathy asked me when I told her that I’m planning to visit Rio by 2013.
“Wala lang. Bucketlist. Maglalakad-lakad lang,” I answered.
“Ano ba meron dun?”
“Try kong mag-artista. Nang makaganti naman dyan sa mga Brazilian ana nasa Pilipinas. Lahat na lang sila artista…”

 

First Come, Right?

One of my colleagues sent the email below. He prepared pasta for everyone to celebrate the new year.

 

Instrument Polisher

“Talaga? Pupunta kayong Spain?” Cathy, a friend of mine asked me.
“Oo. Yung choir. Plano palang,” I answered.
“Orlee! Sama ako! Please!?” I heard saliva dripping while she was screaming this, “Kahit taga-punas lang ng instruments.”
“Ehem… Choir kami. Anong instruments ang pupunasan mo?”

 

The Late Rollie Cruz

“Ang alam ko talaga 6 ang call time sa misa,” My new flatmate and choir mate Rollie told me and Atong. He was always late at our 5:30 AM call time before mass. He always arrives 5 minutes before 6.
“Sino ba nag-orient sa’yo?” Atong asked me. Every new member are oriented about the SOPs, rules and regulations of the group.
“Ano ka ba?” I told Atong, “Eh kahit sa orientation n’ya late ‘yan!”

 

Sorry But I’m Not Sorry

“Mag-sorry ka sa akin,” my friend’s flatmate told him. They were in a word war.
My friend said, “I’m sorry pero hindi ako mag-so-sorry.”

Then he realized, “Ay! Nag-sorry ako!”

 

Alibis Don’t Work Anymore

Using the office land line, I called up Bing, “Bing!”
“Orlee.”
“Kamusta?”
“Office ka pa?” She asked.
“Buksan mo ang pinto,” pretending as if I’m at her door in her flat in RAK.
“HELLO!? Landline gamit mo,” she told me off. I forgot.

After a few updates, she then asked me, “Kelan mo ba ako ililibre ng dinner, Orlee?”
I became quiet for at least 10 seconds, then told her, “Bing… Sorry, naputol ka. Pumasok kasi ako sa elevator.”
“Ummm… Elevetor? Land line nga ang gamit mo, ORLEE!”